One of many things

Today was a strange day.


The first thing I noticed,
I wore two different shoes.
Black flats.
One had a bow.
The other, ridges.


Today was a strange day.

Sourthern Delicacies

I wish I lived in the south. What delicacies they have...

Bologna Cake

1 1/2 lb. bologna
2 (8 oz.) pkg. cream cheese

Get 1 1/2 pounds bologna sliced 1/2-inch thick. Take 1 piece of bologna and cover with a layer of cream cheese, lay another piece of bologna on top of first piece. Then cover second piece with cream cheese, continue to do this until all 1 1/2 pounds are layered in the form of a cake. Then take remaining cream cheese and cover top and sides, just like you were icing a cake. Chill, slice and serve with crackers or chips.

Memory of Water

"They say that water has a memory...That in a solution of arsenic, perhaps -- diluted and diluted and diluted again until it might as well be pure distilled water -- in the vibration of its molecules some ghost of the original poison lives on.But they also say the memory of water changes things. The ghost of the poison becomes a remedy. In the memory of water things are changed into their opposites...It is important for me to remember these things. My Irene has been dead for two years now and with each week since her passing it has become harder to remember who I am, where I am. Last week my great-nephew, George, called from Boston, and when I answered the telephone I spoke in German. The keys under my fingertips might be the keys of an Enigma machine. The light that comes from the little window near the ceiling might be the light coming through a machine-gun slit into a bunker in the Libyan desert..." - - Carl Holtzmeyer


Things I hope to never forget...




my influences.





my family.








my blessings.






my roots.

ELF

I feel awful. My last post was the biggin of 100. I wasted it.
I wasted my 100th post of the sadness that followed an acting exercise I did this past week.
I should make up for this somehow...but I don't know how.
I'll think on it.


It feels like winter right now.
Fall has very quickly come and is almost gone.
First freeze tonight. We brought the mums in. Silly things, they're still budding, they think it's ok to grow right now...I mean, really mums, don't you know you're in Kansas and your lifespan will be cut rather short...?

After the venture of my long lost friend Damien last night, today I have been listening to a lot of old friends and current blues/jazzeque artists. Par example: Amos Lee, Norah Jones, Kt Tunstall (some of her), Anna Vandas, Michael Buble, as well as the greats.
These tunes mixed with the cold winter wind veering it's ugliness against my windows, the early darkness, and my coffee makes me want to decorate the house for Christmas.

You know, a few weeks ago driving home NPR told me that to boost consumer confidence most stores were going to put Christmas stock out extremely early this year as well as advertise for it. I thought "wow...that's neat, but I'm still not ready for that". Wrong. You forget how happy 'tis the season' time of year makes you until you're surrounded by it. Walking around in Target today, buying a heater for my room no less, I stopped in amazement at the end of the greatest isle ever created. The Christmas tree isle. They were not up yet mind you, but they were still in the boxes, just lying there in the back of the store. My mind was racing with all the ideas of what Christmas will be like this year, how many families will own those trees and what they will look like, the happiness they will have decorating, baking, eating cookies and turkey along with wonderful things like listening to Holly Brooke drinking coffee after a long day of visiting families and unwrapping gifts. Not to mention the long marathons on ABC family of ELF, White Christmas, and every claymation Holiday film ever created. Those are the best. I love my red and white Christmas stripped socks. It will be cold enough tonight to wear them...to bad they are three hours away at home because winter was not supposed to be here yet. I wonder if all this early advertisement has not only tricked my mums but also the weather. Blast this trickery.

Christmas is coming consumers.

labryinth

cold water.
damien rice.


someday i will own my own dance studio. when i do, first recital theme: damien rice.
all dances to the good ol' tunes of damien.


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life tends to rotate in circles and this cycle has been very nostalgic for many reasons.
'every breath we drew was hallelujah...'

something interesting that i learned this week is that emotions and instances in our lives are sometimes kept within certain muscles in our bodies. when released... 'it's the wrong time, if somebody knew';'cold water, surrounds me now, and all i've got is your hand'-just a big ol' mess.


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side note:
i found a friend to sing with today.
i miss teaching.
i miss dancing.
i miss singing.
i used to miss my free time but now that i have it...i don't know what to do with it.
i find myself just reminiscing of what i used to do with all my time.
i could do those things again, but it's very difficult to start in the middle.

santa brought me a violin for christmas this last december, maybe i could play it now.

Konza.

Tomorrow I am going home. It's been a long time and this visit is very past due. My brother his girlfriend and I are having a 2/3 double date in Lawrence. A good friend of mine has a show at the Granada so we're grabbing dinner and going to the show.

I-70 is beautiful. For some it is a long dull drive. Not for me. Gorgeous. The Konza in the fall. Ahhh, I can't think of anything more beautiful. Today at work all I could do was sit there looking out the window wishing so badly to go play. Childish? Ahh, maybe. You can't help but revert back to childhood habits when the weather is 'text book' perfect though. I hope this weather continues. I am in my happiest state when it's like this. Everything is perfect. Really, it is. Horrible rotten things could go wrong in my life, and I would still walk outside with the biggest glow you've ever seen...because it's fall. A beautiful fall it's turning into no less. Wonderful.

Midterms.
Enough said.

I'm sorry this is almost a journal-like entry.
I haven't had a chance to blog in quite sometime because of the show, so it's taking me a while to be in that routine of this again.

Top 5
(Haven't done one in SO long. It's past due).


5)Love Story - Taylor Swift
4)Racing like a Pro - The National
3)In our Blood - Horse Feathers
2)Johnny & June - Heidi Newfield
1)November - Max Richter


Vent: On campus, Between 14th and 15th on Anderson...Crosswalk; please do not push the button. By the time the stoplight changes, traffic haults, and the little guy on the screen motions you to walk...it's too late. The traffic flow and circulation of the light changes from other intersections will allow you to walk across with plenty of time to not be hit. I promise. By the time you are long gone...the other innocent walkers are left to face the faces of angry drivers that will sit at that light for 3 minutes for absolutely no reason. Don't push the button.

Here fishy fishy fishy.

I love it when it rains.
I love it when it rains and it's fall outside.
I love it when my little ichthus 'fishy' tattoo had a piece of dirt on it today to make it look like a little eye.
I hate it when the worms are flooded out of their homes, come to the sidewalks, and the entire campus smells like fishies.

Craved Reality.

Too busy to blog.

Coming soon:

Bank shoots: 'What are they? How do they work? and What ifs...'
McDonalds Ice Cream Machines are always broken. 'Cry out for help.'
NPR vs KPR
Baldcaps.
Fake Babies.
Thought: Sheridans?! No...freddies.
Autumn in Thati-is there one?
Countdown: 42 days.
Countdown 2: 23 days!!!! (More important countdown from today).
Bouquets of pencils.
Gum on the ground countdown.
Klove: Love it no more.
Mysterious Headaches.
Spoiled Children.
My love of Birds: New art exhibit: 'Birds on a Line'.
The smell of Christmas in my house.
Spring schedules up.
Top three dreams.
Pictures on my desk.
The Show (four shows left: Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday).
Scarves. Always.

That took longer than expected.
Back to my design analysis.

Cover Up

I've been sitting here 'working' on homework for the past two hours.
I broke up the coffeebeans and have been munching on them and realized how much I miss studying at Radinas/Bluestem.

I love what I do in the process of my 'schoolin' but I am very very very excited to have my life back again so that I can do the other things that I love. I don't ever have time to enjoy the things that first made me fall in love with college. Ichthus. Coffee dates. Music nights. Walks in the park. Long talks with my mom. Bike rides. Studying after class. Game nights. Porches and roofs. Dinner with roommates. Late fall/winter nights studying and smelling of coffee beans. Gilmore girls.

One more week and I can go back to doing the things that make my heart pitter patter and give my life wings.




The leaves are starting to smell like fall.
Crispy. Lovely. Beautiful.


Lastly: I've been strongly considering not necessarily switching majors again, but I have been reeeeeeeally thinking about education. I wonder how long it would take me to switch and complete theater ed...? Ahhhh. I am ridiculous.

Fionna Apple would have a field day with this.

It's been a long week. It's been a weird week.
Tech week, school, work, projects and tests galore, and three shows.
So naturally, at the end of the week around 1:30 in the am, I realize I haven't eaten since lunch and I'm starving.
Deciding I want pizza and since we're at a friends house a block from Aggieville a close friend and I decide to leave, grab a pizza a walk back; Leaving the men to play video games, of which they were entranced by.

Needless to say this was the worst idea-EVER.

Not only was Gumby's packed from counter to door, they don't sell by the slice. I wasn't hungry enough to eat a whole 'big ass' by myself. Noooooo thank you.

'Well...' says my friend 'Burger King is still open'.
'WHOOPER! Deal.'

Needless to say THIS was the wooooorst idea ever.

I hate aggieville more than ever.
I realize it was not the smartest idea for two females to walk through the most inappropriate place in town. I mean, Fred Phelps and his amigos screamed through these streets not but two days ago for a veeeeeery slim degree of reason- but I wanted food.

Never have I ever felt so absolutely degraded in my entire life. Never ever. Not once.
I understand oogling and cat calls. I can ignore those-but in the course of two blocks for various grown men to invade your space and slap you from behind or grab a hand full of your ass-I am in NO way ok with that. I swear to you if there weren't any sense in my mind two of the men last night would have been on the ground in pain. I was that livid. Me-mad. Those don't go hand in hand very often. I hate violence. I hate it. I don't 'hate' many things in the world because I don't agree with the word 'hate'. But I HATE with every fiber of my being violence. More so, I hate how when men have alcohol in them, all sense leaves their brain and they feel they can get away with murder.

After a block away from gumby's and after the third time this had happened, thank the Lord we ran into my friend from high school. He may not be the strongest man in the world, nor the soberest...but he agreed to walk us the rest of the way to burger king where I helped feed him a whopper that I bought for his kindness of going with us. (Even if he insisted that he walk in the middle so he could look like a pimp.

Sooo. That was my week.
recap: I hate aggieville. I'm not near as excited to turn 21 and venture down there anymore. Not at all.