lady's house

This weekend I am excited. Why? Because I've made three decisions, of what I think, to be very valuable.

1-Going home for a dinner day with my dad.
2-Coming back for a pumpkin date with my friends.
3-Spending as much time outside as possible.

Family is interesting. I consider those as members of my family in many capacities. I know that a lot of people do, but it's kind of funny (in a comforting way) to sit down and really think about it.

Related and extended family members have known you since birth. They've been there for literally everything, up until you decided to leave or choose specific things to not share with them.

Family friends have been there for you since about birth as well, usually close friends of the parents. Still, there for just about everything, or everything that parents feel the need to share with them over weekly phone conversations.



Then there are your friends that you yourself have accumulated throughout your life. The friends that you've been lucky enough to have placed delicately or abruptly in specific places at just the right time. I feel truly blessed to have my family members so close to me in my life as well as close family friends, but my friends whom I consider family I truly feel blessed to have. These are the ones who I feel help me search to be more connected with the world outside of my related family. These are also the friends who I am lucky enough to have such a bond with; that they are my family when life has started to move in different directions. These are the people who become more and more connected to me each and every day and I with them.

These are the friends who see me the way they do...the friends I can carve pumpkins with as well as listen to funny music with.
There's nothing really to this post except that I'm sitting here thinking how much I really love and adore everyone in my life. I have good people. Good people have me. We all have good people. People are good.

chai's aren't cheap.

It's been quite some time since I have had a Wednesday night free to myself. It's been quite some time since I've updated this blog. After not being able to do things for yourself in a period of time, it's interesting the things you fall back into routine with and the things you leave by the wayside.

-yoga class, check.
-radinas music night, iffy, but check.
-midnight mimosa, check (soon to be).
-catching up on cutey fashion blogs, check.
-not saying a word to anyone...super check.

My freshman year, I was obsessed with Brandi Carlile's song 'The Story' . Listening to it then had an entirely different meaning. I don't really know what it was though...just excitement with school I suppose. The old wearing off and the new setting in as a fact. I discovered this song around this time of year when the leaves were just starting to fall and the summer heat was just starting to cool. I started listening to this song when I was trying to figure out my life (because as a freshman, I thought that's what the cool kids did; drink coffee and think about life with music softly singing in the background).

Now, sitting here listening to a cover of this song trying to still figure out my life, it has an entirely different meaning. I don't really know what this meaning is either-except plain ol' nostalgia. I remember trying to dance to this song studying for finals in the study room down the hall in my dorm. I remember the boy who I thought would be the love of my life. I remember the chai latte sitting on my desk. I remember missing home but loving college. I remember looking out of the dorms onto the Strong complex wondering what college was like for my grandparents who met inside of those limestone walls. I wondered what college would be like from here on out. I remember thinking something along the lines of 'this is so cool'.

Oh geez...life is still pretty cliche and corny. Not much as changed (but that's kind of a lie because a lot has changed).
Life is still busy. Life is still changing. Life is still crazy. Life is still abundant. And life is still a place of excitement and bewilderment; constantly searching, constantly waiting. The thing is, the song is still the same. Just a little different because of the artist. I'm sitting here looking back on the last four and a half/five years or so thinking about everything that's happened...because a lot has happened...but the thing is...it's already happened. I spent so much time looking forward to the future that I missed a lot. Thank goodness for memories so that I can look back now and see them. However, now I spend an awful lot of time looking at the past. 1-I don't really have that spark of excitement for the future because life is moving so fast I miss the little things that I care for so much and 2-I am just a nostalgic person... A lot has changed, but that's life. It will change. I feel I'm much less naive about things now...like instead of paying full price for a chai latte, just order the tea and pour your own skim, honey and sugar into it at the counter. A little different, but still the same.

I feel like such an old woman right now. An old crazy soul I suppose. I'm looking forward to this year a little more now that I've had this night to recharge and listen to some covers and go back to the places I once did 'year's' ago. I am a little more excited and a little less focused on the here and there. I am a little more centered and slowly inching towards being present. Maybe I'll see my future in the bottom of this to go cup...? eh?