Bierock

Singing along as harmony is probaly one of my favorite things to do in the world.
I was talking with a friend this weekend about how I never sing around anyone in Manhattan. Ever. It's odd because I have literally grown up with a musical family in a musical town. Singing for no reason is natuarl. Of course I realized that I haven't done this in the town that I've lived in for two and some odd years, but still it's odd and uncomformtable to me yet I still just can't do it. It's weird.

I have mastered the 'shape your hand into a cuplike figure, stick it out the window and use it as an air conditioner'. Mine does not work. Oh cars.

Pulling into the lane on the main drag, you feel that things should feel different. After being away for even a week, it's almost expected that the brief excitment you experience before just reaching that corner of seeing town should somehow be altered in some form or another.
It never is.
It's always that same old small town.
There is new gossip, well, old gossip with some altercations. No big deal or anything. The old chinese restaurant has a new name and the German restaurant has Italian on its menu.
I like being home. It feels natural. Everything seems right.

New Love: Alice Peacock

A lot on my mind.
A lot on my mind.
A lot to sort through.

I am really excited to sing with my dad tonight.
I have been looking forward to it for a long time.
We have some new songs, so it will be as much fun as a barrel full of monkeys.

seven.

1. the real captain crunch reminds me of my childhood

2. a student of mine told me today that she wants to be a teacher just like me. 'a dance teacher or a theater teacher(she takes classes from me in both areas)?' '...(thinks about it)YES! I WANT TO TEACH DANCE CLA(ss) LIKE YOU M(s) ERICA!'. way cute. she's five and doesn't ever say her s's.

3. new phone. ate my old numbers. stupid.

4. i'm sick up gas (fuel).

5. i just saw a commercial for 'a day getaway in kansas'. emporia was on the list...seriously? i laughed.

6. i miss my friends. living away from them is frustrating at times. but i love them.

7. i like sharon osbournes new hair cute. very chic.

this is my life.

real imagery.

Listen:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=skVSc98ZDsw




Read:
The Red Wheelbarrow -- William Carlos Williams

so much depends
upon
a red wheel
barrow
glazed with rain
water
beside the white
chickens.



I was thinking about this today and was surprised I haven't talked about it in a while-or at all.

This is one of my favorite poems ever.
It really is.

Yiddish

Word of the day: Altacaca

An alatacaca is a Yiddish word that usually refers to an old grumpy yet concerned Jewish man who sprays spit everywhere when he speaks.

I watched Whoopi Goldberg on Bravo this morning.
I forgot how funny she is.

Really. She was pretty funny.
She talked about her life when she was young and how society has changed from then to now-to me, that is hilarious.


I have watched Clueless twice in three days.
Weirdly, I like it.
Don't judge.

Con in the making.

I learned how to open a locked door with a credit card & I have to say, I am really good at it. Dead bolts don't work & I now need a new library card.


I was working on it this morning wearing a black glove (it gives you blisters with all the shimmying) and my dad walked by the back patio off the dining room and didn't even notice. I later showed him as a 'happy fathers day' type of deal. I think he found it impressive. Then we watched the storms come in and we saw rotation. It was fun.


I am good at this sneaky thing.

12.21.12

Like many others, I have been hearing a lot about Dec 21, 2012 and the happenings that might occur on that date. Before talk of this I have been thinking a lot about the events that are discussed in Revelation and how I do feel that in some aspects 'we are politically, morally and socially corrupt. We completely ignore the signs that earth is a fragile ecosystem that needs protecting, and we continue to use and abuse our planet for our own selfish reasons'. Not only our planet, but we as humans use and abuse ourselves for our own selfish reasons. Because of this, I am somewhat fearful of what we are not only doing to ourselves but the place in which God created for us to live. But I take much comfort in the fact that He said we will not know when the end will come. I just feel a bit stressed about the downward motion that our world has already started and the sad fast progression of this. I also feel that we have so much potential to do good...but we're lazy and selfish. I am guilty of it, but all I am saying is that now that we're aware of our vices, why are we not able to try and better them?

Anyway, this is just a thought I had.

.Max Richter. On The Nature Of Daylight.

Today I found a picture. A negative of a picture to be exact.
A baby. A newborn baby was captured within the colorless, motionless, now homeless negative.
Ripped, scratched, covered with earth-this newborn life of glossy brown and black had been snatched from the winds of devastation and blown out into the open and later found its way into my hands. Someones life was in my hands. Literally. Without question, lying on my desk right now is a piece of someone's life thrown from the destruction of a tornado.

After grazing the campus today camera in hand, it's difficult for me to yet grasp that someone else could very easily be holding a picture of me and my family, a graduation, a recital, a girls night photo that could have been taken from my life and blown out into the world. Without question. Without much warning. Without warrant.

Captured on my camera: A wedding. A snow day. A child. A handful of lives that are now changed for a long moment that only took but one to cause.

Later down the road, I looked down to find yet another picture-A negative. Across campus, a ten minute walk at least, was the other half of the first negative. A perfect fit almost. To complete the life, a family was now in sight. At a beach-sand castles, swim suits, umbrellas, sunglasses and the ocean off in the distance. A perfect family picture.

I feel so awkward having someone's copy of their life on my desk.
On my desk that is still in my room underneath my roof.
While their ripped negative of a family vacation is nothing but possibly a memory to them now.
Not only do I feel somewhat odd about this, I also feel a bit at ease that I have been honored to see a glimpse into someone else's life. To be the one, out of all of those rummaging through this disaster today, to piece these two instantly worn pieces of film together and experience a piece of their own-I think it to be nothing short of a blessing.
I am grateful.
I am so grateful.





The Grand Canyon Family(top).
Another photo torn by the 'rain-wrapped' destruction.

I see a dinosaur-no a turtle-no it's a toaster!

The clouds are perfect to play the imagination game today.

Confession...

I don't read the endings to books.
I don't watch the endings of movies.

It is something that I've never really done.
It's not a purposeful thing, I don't think.
I just don't really do it.

Even if I've told someone that I've finished a book-it's three-fourths truth.
I usually read all except about the last chapter or so.

There is one book that I completely finished in its entirety.

Sribbler of Dreams.

It's this awful tacky teen love drama that I bought at a book fair in seventh grade. I read it every spring. Every spring; Like clockwork. I don't know what it is that makes me continue to read this ridiculously sappy love triangle over and over again-I would like to say that I have thought about this issue over and over again like a psychiatrist and have come to the conclusion that it's an inner something or other-but I can't. I mean, maybe it's true. Maybe I can't finish books or watch movies because 'I am unaware of the future of my life and therefore am scared of the outcome or won't like the ending...' That would be cool I guess...Maybe? I think it's because I become bored very easily. I fixate on the story within book or movie for as long as my attention span allows and them I'm done. I have ending A.D.D. Truthfully I do. Well...I guess not all of the time. If I can foretell the ending, my own ending, then I'm done, but if I mull over it for a while and cannot come to a conclusion of what I feel the ending should be, then I will watch or read the remainder of the piece. Then again, I suppose I could be Dr. Life and conclude that because of my diagnosed 'ending A.D.D. portions of my life will never feel complete or whole because I will leave them unfinished and move on before great things could fall into place or fixate on the fiction and while I am creating my own early ending I will never see the real thing'. ...Eh, maybe. I guess. That just sounds silly.

I just think better books need to be written and better movies need to be produced.

True Love

The kids I work with are absolutely adorable.
Today one of my favorite little girls (you're not supposed to have favorites-but you do, get over it) was having a really really really difficult time leaving her mom. My favorite little boy decided that he would come over and show her how the magnets work. Keep in mind they have never met before and have both JUST turned 'fhree'. Anyway, he takes the two pieces of magnets and goes 'LOOK! (sticks it to the chair, laughs uncontrollably, then pulls it off and goes up to the very sad little blonde 'fhree' year old sobbing in my lap and puts the magnet to her lips)'. She immediately stops crying, bulges out her eyes and can't do anything the rest of the morning but follow him around with puppy dog eyes and a cute little blank look on her face. It was by far the cutest thing I have probably ever seen in my life.

I have a bug bite. It itches really very badly.
I didn't know I had it until I accidentally scratched it and now it won't stop.

Today I have an urge to be a brunette again. I liked being a brunette. I liked being a red head as well. I liked having six colors on my head at one point too. I did not like having polka dots. I did not like strawberry blonde. I did not like the orange transition period of red to natural blonde. I have enjoyed my recent blonde. However, in the past I have not enjoyed being platinum blonde. That was not fun. I felt like a hooker.

Secret: I have never wanted to stand on stilts. I do not like high unstable things.

I am starting to become very lonely and restless here in Manhattan.