Salvatore-What a New York name.

It is really windy out. I can't sleep well with lots of wind. It freaks me out. Is that unusual?

Weird things in the house today. Weird things in general this weekend. Too weird to talk about. Trust me.


I remembered how much I love Mogwai today. Great 'thinking' music.


Does it mean anything if you've consistently been having nightmares? I hope not.

Manhattan is absolutely wonderful. I am very excited to live here this summer-Rumor has it, Manhattan summers are something to remember forever.
However, I would give anything to be in Chicago.
I have also had the urge to maybe visit/live in Colorado or Oregon.

There are so many places I want to visit. I haven't really been anywhere.
I was talking with someone today who has had a very fortunate life of traveling almost everywhere. It is no big deal for her to just leave and go somewhere for fun. When I told her I haven't ever seen the ocean or been to New York the look on her face looked as though I had just tossed cow manure at her. It was this look of total and complete disgust. For the first time in an extremely long time, I felt very small. I don't ever really feel smaller or less significant than someone else. It was one of those moments when you feel that you're at this glamorous ball where everyone looks wonderful-and there you are-cut off shorts, wife beater, dirt, grease, just off the farm look. A 'Cinderella' moment if you will. I was quite angry with myself for not having the strength to let myself not feel that way. It didn't last very long though. It was just weird. I wasn't used to it. I didn't like it at all. It happens though. This also made me realize, that although she is fortunate enough to travel and live in this manner, I am fortunate enough to realize how fortunate she is and that life doesn't need to be like this...because I don't think that she does at all.

Oh, today on the highway, someone flipped me the bird for absolutely no apparent reason that I could see. That was entertaining. I don't like drivers these days anyway. Careless. We, yes we, don't understand the power that we have while driving a one ton+vehicle. I have come to this conclusion from a whole lot of experience.

Although I have time, Grad school has been on my mind recently.
A long time ago (earlier this fall) a guy from NYU contacted me-a few different times-and wanted to talk. Apparently he has my name from a mentor of mine. He is the head of the theater education dept there. I e-mailed him back but we haven't really actually had our 'discussion' yet. I don't want to. His number has been sitting on my desk all year. It hasn't moved. I am comfortable right now...but I shouldn't be comfortable. I don't think you should ever be too comfortable. Kind of like the movie Chocolat...you know? I have all of these reasons why I shouldn't call him and not very many that I should-except that I know how important it would be. I don't know. It will probably still sit here for another year-not that it matters. I should have called him the minute he asked me to, that chance is long gone.

I love Mogwai. I don't like strong winds.