exhausted.
i am so exhausted to the point where i can't figure out if i've just burnt all of my ends out and have nothing else or if i'm way past that and now i'm just lazy and am tired from being so lazy. this silly summer haze has smothered my brain so that everything is backside up and i'm looking at the world from a position where the blood is rushing to my head and i just want it to stop. i want to be able to look at the world clearly again without wanting to fall asleep or without wondering if my works are plentiful and purposeful. i want to have the eagerness to write something that i don't almost feel embarrassed about but to become excited to share something amazing, or funny, or worthwhile that might instill a meaningful thought into someones mind.
it's so hard to be intentional and purposeful towards others when you yourself are hanging upside down topsy turvy trying to figure out how to put your feet on the ground to move forward. though...you know...i suppose a good handful of people in the world are hanging that way as well. so i suppose if i'm hanging there with them, we can figure out a way to get down together...?
today i'm going to take a hike. or bake something. or clean something. or walk somewhere. or paint something. today i'm going to do something though...something that i have not done in a long time that is much overdue-taking a period of time in solitude. not a short quiet time like a do daily-but to take the entire day to spend it in solitude.
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2 comments:
Some of my best days are spent by myself. And not in a sad way by any means. Do what you have to do to keep your mental health, because I've found that I'm no good to anyone if I'm not good to myself. Ya know??
you are definitely not alone.
and sometimes it takes these moments in our lives to completely put things into perspective for the future, and we don't even know it!
go.
go paint, hike, bake, and clean. and feel accomplished.
you deserve it, miss erica.
much love.
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