New blog with a different twist.
http://ericaelaines.wordpress.com/
New tumbler:
http://ericaelainesmith.tumblr.com/
*I'll still be using this blog, but more for music, short posts and a variety of other nonsensical things that pop into my life. Wordpress will be more where I'll continue my rambling thoughts.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Rambling Man
The need to breathe is essential. It's the natural habit that our bodies go through in order to help us survive. Without it, obviously, we would die. Many go through life without taking notice of their breath. I say this and I don't mean just the 'in' and 'out' motion that our bodies go through when breathing. Rather, I mean the placement of the breath, the various muscles it truly can come into contact with and the ways in which the simple task of taking and releasing breath can cause release in certain areas as well as how the breath can change the body emotionally. Taking the time to inventory the body and the many ways in which this can happen, however, does not often occur in our daily lives. As humans (I say this including myself) we rely on it to just happen...as it always has. We trust it to be there, to continue on as it always has without any thought to it. Rarely do we realize just how important the breath is..one of the many reasons that helps to sustain life.
If we often rely on this without notice or gratitude of it...what other things in life are forgotten?
For me...hundreds of things...thousands or even possibly millions. Currently I'm so focused on either the past or the future that I have not stopped to enjoy the present of where I am...where I have been led to live my life at the moment...where I worked so hard to get. Now that I'm physically and emotionally in this place in my life, I'm not entirely sure this is where I am to be or where I want to be. I have now taken so much time trying to evaluate and take inventory of how I 'feel' and what I 'want' that the need to stop and focus my intentions of where I am in the present has yet to happen. Or it happens too quickly that I am not giving enough time for things to take the course for what they are. What good is the time spent in one place if not given the chance or gratitude for what it is? There is something to be said for being intentional. There is also something to be said for trying too hard. This is not the life I dreamt of or what I thought I wanted, but it's still happening, whether I want it to or not. Just as breathing still happens within our bodies, life still happens around us. Sometimes you have to take it for what it is. Other times, you have to let your mind ramble, as it were. The essential and simplistic parts all included. All of the rambling that does happen within our thoughts is a natural thing...and it's ok. That's life. It's a process. It doesn't always make sense, it all plays out the way it should...so what's there to worry about? The need and want to dwell as well as to dream are a part of life, it's sometimes essential for this to happen.
However...
...the placement of what to dwell on and to dream of often need time and patience as the process of what is really important slowly unfolds.
In short, chill out. Life isn's as crazy as we often think it is. Take a minute to breathe.
*desperately trying this myself
If we often rely on this without notice or gratitude of it...what other things in life are forgotten?
For me...hundreds of things...thousands or even possibly millions. Currently I'm so focused on either the past or the future that I have not stopped to enjoy the present of where I am...where I have been led to live my life at the moment...where I worked so hard to get. Now that I'm physically and emotionally in this place in my life, I'm not entirely sure this is where I am to be or where I want to be. I have now taken so much time trying to evaluate and take inventory of how I 'feel' and what I 'want' that the need to stop and focus my intentions of where I am in the present has yet to happen. Or it happens too quickly that I am not giving enough time for things to take the course for what they are. What good is the time spent in one place if not given the chance or gratitude for what it is? There is something to be said for being intentional. There is also something to be said for trying too hard. This is not the life I dreamt of or what I thought I wanted, but it's still happening, whether I want it to or not. Just as breathing still happens within our bodies, life still happens around us. Sometimes you have to take it for what it is. Other times, you have to let your mind ramble, as it were. The essential and simplistic parts all included. All of the rambling that does happen within our thoughts is a natural thing...and it's ok. That's life. It's a process. It doesn't always make sense, it all plays out the way it should...so what's there to worry about? The need and want to dwell as well as to dream are a part of life, it's sometimes essential for this to happen.
However...
...the placement of what to dwell on and to dream of often need time and patience as the process of what is really important slowly unfolds.
In short, chill out. Life isn's as crazy as we often think it is. Take a minute to breathe.
*desperately trying this myself
Sunday, July 3, 2011
front porch pickin
Blues.
I love the blues. The funk, the jazz, the freedom...all of it. Love. Love. Love.
What's more, I love the new take on blues. Don't get me wrong, I grew up in the city of blues and jazz, so I'm not in any way abandoning it, however...there is some sweet stuff going on in the world. Take a listen.
Just fun. The Gold Magnolias.
Davy Knowles is pretty awesome as well. Mostly, you'll see him play a lot of electric heavy blues...but his acoustic is beautiful as well.
A very front porch kind of sound.
Then there's...Tyler Bryant.
Man. Oh. Man. Marry. Me. Now.
Finally, we can't ever forget the original. Otis Spann. God love him.
I love the blues. The funk, the jazz, the freedom...all of it. Love. Love. Love.
What's more, I love the new take on blues. Don't get me wrong, I grew up in the city of blues and jazz, so I'm not in any way abandoning it, however...there is some sweet stuff going on in the world. Take a listen.
Just fun. The Gold Magnolias.
The Gold Magnolias Record Release from Evan Felts on Vimeo.
Davy Knowles is pretty awesome as well. Mostly, you'll see him play a lot of electric heavy blues...but his acoustic is beautiful as well.
A very front porch kind of sound.
Then there's...Tyler Bryant.
Man. Oh. Man. Marry. Me. Now.
Finally, we can't ever forget the original. Otis Spann. God love him.
Friday, July 1, 2011
repost from 2010
Words worth repeating from a blog post I wrote long ago:
an unknown monk
"When I was a young man, I wanted to change the world. I found it was difficult to change the world, so I tried to change my nation. When I found I couldn't change the nation, I began to focus on my town. I couldn't change the town and, as an older man, I tried to change my family. Now, as an old man, I realize the only thing I can change is myself, and suddenly I realize that if long ago I had changed myself, I could have had an impact on my family. My family and I could have made an impact on our town. Their impact could have changed the nation and I could have indeed changed the world."
As it has been said by Amelia Earhart, 'Courage is the price that life exacts for granting peace. The soul that knows it not, knows no release from little things; knows not the livid loneliness of fear'...strong words. Impactful words. I am always in constant amazement as to how our words and actions can influence one another. Months ago there was a good aquantence of mine who spoke the kindest words to me on a day when they needed to be heard. Words of encouragement and honesty. I have recently told him that though his comments were random and unprepared, they were still meaningful and extremely humbling to me. Those words have stuck with me for months and have influenced the way I see and act on certain things-in a beautiful way. I feel that sewing seeds comes with patience, seizing opportunities, and vigor-truth comes with passion and directness-and love of another human being, this, this is the simple compassion that we don't have to plan out-we can all have and show for one another day in day out. This is how we can begin a process of change; Within ourselves first so that the inner becomes outer and compassion, truth, and seeds are shared and grown among a community of brothers and sisters walking together with strength and hope.
an unknown monk
"When I was a young man, I wanted to change the world. I found it was difficult to change the world, so I tried to change my nation. When I found I couldn't change the nation, I began to focus on my town. I couldn't change the town and, as an older man, I tried to change my family. Now, as an old man, I realize the only thing I can change is myself, and suddenly I realize that if long ago I had changed myself, I could have had an impact on my family. My family and I could have made an impact on our town. Their impact could have changed the nation and I could have indeed changed the world."
As it has been said by Amelia Earhart, 'Courage is the price that life exacts for granting peace. The soul that knows it not, knows no release from little things; knows not the livid loneliness of fear'...strong words. Impactful words. I am always in constant amazement as to how our words and actions can influence one another. Months ago there was a good aquantence of mine who spoke the kindest words to me on a day when they needed to be heard. Words of encouragement and honesty. I have recently told him that though his comments were random and unprepared, they were still meaningful and extremely humbling to me. Those words have stuck with me for months and have influenced the way I see and act on certain things-in a beautiful way. I feel that sewing seeds comes with patience, seizing opportunities, and vigor-truth comes with passion and directness-and love of another human being, this, this is the simple compassion that we don't have to plan out-we can all have and show for one another day in day out. This is how we can begin a process of change; Within ourselves first so that the inner becomes outer and compassion, truth, and seeds are shared and grown among a community of brothers and sisters walking together with strength and hope.
Kitchens.
I'll say it. I love kitchens. All of them. If I could live in a houseful of kitchens, I think I would. They're interesting, unique and outdated or not-most of the time (if the owners care about it) they fit the personalities of those who dwell there. I have a dream of the perfect kitchen. White washed with restored wood. Just enough counter space to cook and bake yummy things and natural light that even mother earth would say 'woooow'. Wood floors. Wood floors with a deep double porcelain sink. Dreams. If I could combine my kitchen it would have various elements these fine features.
winner.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
simplicity
Through struggle we often find relief somewhere towards the end of it all. At least we hope to. This move has opened my eyes to a lot of things. A lot of things. It has also made it difficult for me to discover and enjoy the simplicity of life as I so easily have done before. The transitions I have gone through of one phase of life to the next have started to blur the lines of what I want and need while leaving me feeling as if I jumped off of a running horse expecting to land gracefully. Life doesn't happen that way though. I didn't really think it through that by picking up my entire life and moving across the country...it might just change who I am and what I want out of life. I just thought it would be a fun time of traveling-like an extended spring break. Nope. Go figure.
It's only been three weeks. Yes, at times it's been hard-I'm a homebody, so it's natural. My community isn't within arms reach when I need them (which I have recently). However, I'm also really starting to realize that I'm stronger than I thought. I'm more independent than I ever thought possible. I'm beginning to see the world with not a different set of eyes, but with a new perspective. What that perspective is yet, I don't quite know. I'm waiting on that one. With the flip side of discovering those, I have also been so consumed with settling in and so focused on finding my niche that I have shortly lost a sense of who I am. I've lost sight of the calmness that a day can have and the abundance of goodness and grace that can happen within it. All stemming from one place. So, now that I have written a sappy little 'love life to the fullest' booklet...I'm going to try and live it out as such. I've talked about having a 'foundation' to work from for years. Now it's time to put it into action. So far so good. Just a little of balance at the moment.
...
re: the post that never happened
...
It's been said that it's hard to move on when you don't know where you from. It is also true that it is hard to move on when you do indeed know where you're from. I leave Kansas in three weeks. Roughly 20 days really. It hasn't truly hit me yet that I am moving. Kansas has been my home and who I am for the last 23 years. So, it's hard to see myself anywhere else...let alone North Carolina. Instead of finishing homework and studying for finals so that I can first graduate then move, I took the morning to drive around to places where I've called home for the last five years. The Pierre house. Elaine street. The little grill. The konza. My studio. Top of the world. Pillsbury. Manhattan hill.
Finishing the trip with the long stretch of Manhattan rd leading out to nowhere. Here, I sat by the abondoned limestone house and railroad crossing where I feel at home, at peace, where I feel like no one in the world could see or hear my thoughts...then a truck drove by and asked if I was ok. Talk about feeling silly. After that, I got back in my car and realized I should not waste gas since I'm broke and save the the miles on my car considering it has to last me two trips to the East Coast and back. Life isn't always as hard as we think it might be. It's pretty simple sometimes with a lot of goodness, tears and smiles in there.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
March 1
Riding that hope is sometimes like catching a train. This winter has been just such an adventure. Snow and ice one day, followed by the sun but not without our little town being covered with ice not but four days later. It's a vicious nasty cycle that has to happen...a snow globe cycle. It's true, I said it-we, as Kansans, live in a snow globe. We finally settle with only a little time to gather our thoughts then we're shaken up again.
Thus...
...March first should be considered a holiday. I say this because it's not yet spring, but we're roughly 87% in the clear from winter. Hearts are hopeful, minds are on spring break, tulips start to sprout, jorts slowly inch their way out of the closet and happiness is in the air just a little more than it was before. So, I say it again...March 1 should be a holiday. Today I sent text messages, tweets and spoke to those in passing about March first and I truly realize how silly and completely awkward this might be...but to me, what's silly about being happy that the sun is up, the sky is blue and spring is just around the corner?
Spread that love of springtime. We live in Kansas...or at least I do. If ever a hope for that snow to melt and the ice to go where the sun always shines, then bring-it-on in full force.
Some new. Some old. All with an air of spring in them.
The start of a spring mix:
-Grace Potter and the Nocturnals (always a favorite...they're pretty seasonal in my opinion)
-Mates of State (fun fact: they're out of Lawrence)
-Penguin Cafe Orchestra
-Faces
-Hem
-Grizzly Bear
-Merrick
-The Asteroids Galaxy Tour
-Scissor Sisters
-The Tempor Tramp
-Busby Marou
-Boy and Bear
-Need To Breathe
-Brooke Waggoner
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Purpose
Quite frankly, my blog sucks.
I realize that no one reads it and I'm sadly ok with that.
Others:
Sad Little Man.
A few years back Chicago's greatest improv troupe of all time came to perform for the conservative town of Manhattan. They did an amazing job of kindly loving us for our flaws along with everything else-after all, we're all human. Through the many hilarious bits and gags, I distinctly remember one song they sang for us. It's title: "No one reads your blog". This story through song took us into the every detail of this mans life and the importance he thought was behind that. More so, the inevitable fact that, indeed, no one cared. No one read his blog about: sadness.
Speech and Debate.
Within this play there is a rousing young girl named Diwata. As most prepubesent teenagers are, Diwata enjoys more than anything to display her life via WebBlog. Though, this causes a huge disturbance within her life (amongst other issues) this blog is her outlet, her way of expression. No matter who watches, she is more than willing to tell the world what she thinks: angry issues.
Fashion.
Then there are the blogs about what everyone in Europe is wearing. The latest fashions, the rags to riches of glamorous lines, ways to look expensively like a hobo but caring all the while. Simple tips and tricks to look stylin' with the best of em. Secretly, I love to hate them because no matter how simple the looks are...money is money and lack there of I have. Yet, I read them daily: Fashion.
Music. ... " "...
Sex and the City.
Let's face it. Women in the world today have this idealogic perseption of New York City living because of the plots played out in this series. In some capacities, not real. In others, absolutely. The dreamy talk of romance for shoes and men is all the rage scattered across the opinion column of Carrie Bradshaw: Love.
Everyone who views any of these opinions/views has some interest to take note of what the authors have to say. As for my blog...I don't really even have a strong opinion about half of the things I write about. Truthfully, somedays I write just to write. Maybe it's because I've lost my pen and pad of paper for the day...who knows. It's much more difficult for me to write about my life or topics from life rather than writing monologues, scenes or pieces of prose. Completely different ball game. It's different, so I'm trying. I've been trying, and have been failing. SO, upping the ante...blogs are dying, let's make them interesting again.
Long story short. I should write with more purpose. I should write with more gumption. I should write what I want. I should write because I care. I should write, because anyone could see it...but also because no one reads my blog.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Let's Roll.
I was following the...
I was following the...
I was following the...the something.
I don't know what.
Looking around my room, I'm slowly realizing how much CRAP I have. Really, 97.3% of the things I own are crap. All of it: My journals, the furniture we've redone, the pictures, dare I even say the antique books I that adore more than my own dog. Though, the remaining 2.7% of things are of extreme importance. I assure you: Clean underwear, new shoes, my collection of buttons from the past five years...if lost, these would pull at my heartstrings forever.
Life is difficult to get through. It's a process and it's discipline of acknowlegment.
'Freeing the Natual Voice' by Kristin Linklater discusses, through various exercises, how to help acknowledge and then encourage the body to free the natural voice that is sometimes stiffled by life and its interworkings. Within us all, there is human expression. Within us all, there is blocked human expression. This is brought about by action/reaction. Then, the physical voice is stimulated. With the voice, there is articulation, vibration and resonance...What we feel.
What I've discovered is that the blocks are often completely invisible. For me, I never realized how many emotional blocks from my 'natural voice' there were until taking a thorough scan of my body for weeks trying to find out what I feel, what works, what doesn't-what's important. I don't know what caused them, but these are there. Now knowing this, now knowing that I can't physically feel vibrations in parts of my body because of this tension, I feel as though there is a completely different person that I've never discovered. All of a sudden, my buttons don't matter. My books don't matter. My shoes are shabby and absolutely none of these things can help aid me in filling that void.
Luckily, I am aware of this, and luckily I purchased the book to help instruct me how to fix them. What an actor am I...buying books.
What if I hadn't of taken the time to figure out within me what is important? What works, what doesn't? I'm moving in a few months...to where, I don't know yet. Somewhere exciting I hope. Somewhere that I can fully expereince everything for all it's worth-all it's vibrations and places of resonance that it has to offer (that was really corny, just go with it). Really though, I've been in this town for five years and I still feel that there is so much to experience...but it's time to move on. It's time to leave this crap I sometimes think is important behind. Clean underwear and all.
So here's to the natural parts of life. To the real, the honest, the scared, the good, and the blocked. Taking it for what it is...I'm peacing outta this town.
I was following the...
I was following the...the something.
I don't know what.
Looking around my room, I'm slowly realizing how much CRAP I have. Really, 97.3% of the things I own are crap. All of it: My journals, the furniture we've redone, the pictures, dare I even say the antique books I that adore more than my own dog. Though, the remaining 2.7% of things are of extreme importance. I assure you: Clean underwear, new shoes, my collection of buttons from the past five years...if lost, these would pull at my heartstrings forever.
Life is difficult to get through. It's a process and it's discipline of acknowlegment.
'Freeing the Natual Voice' by Kristin Linklater discusses, through various exercises, how to help acknowledge and then encourage the body to free the natural voice that is sometimes stiffled by life and its interworkings. Within us all, there is human expression. Within us all, there is blocked human expression. This is brought about by action/reaction. Then, the physical voice is stimulated. With the voice, there is articulation, vibration and resonance...What we feel.
What I've discovered is that the blocks are often completely invisible. For me, I never realized how many emotional blocks from my 'natural voice' there were until taking a thorough scan of my body for weeks trying to find out what I feel, what works, what doesn't-what's important. I don't know what caused them, but these are there. Now knowing this, now knowing that I can't physically feel vibrations in parts of my body because of this tension, I feel as though there is a completely different person that I've never discovered. All of a sudden, my buttons don't matter. My books don't matter. My shoes are shabby and absolutely none of these things can help aid me in filling that void.
Luckily, I am aware of this, and luckily I purchased the book to help instruct me how to fix them. What an actor am I...buying books.
What if I hadn't of taken the time to figure out within me what is important? What works, what doesn't? I'm moving in a few months...to where, I don't know yet. Somewhere exciting I hope. Somewhere that I can fully expereince everything for all it's worth-all it's vibrations and places of resonance that it has to offer (that was really corny, just go with it). Really though, I've been in this town for five years and I still feel that there is so much to experience...but it's time to move on. It's time to leave this crap I sometimes think is important behind. Clean underwear and all.
So here's to the natural parts of life. To the real, the honest, the scared, the good, and the blocked. Taking it for what it is...I'm peacing outta this town.
Friday, February 18, 2011
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
