duh-it's like, language

“So I want to talk about, umm, candy. It’s so good and umm, it’s sweet, and it’s umm, well it melts in your mouth when you eat it. You can buy many types of candy at lots of different stores and umm, yeah, it’s not very expensive and it’s umm pretty cheap”. This one sided conversation actually played like a bad disney movie in my life not but six days ago. I can't decipher whether this bothers me from being a theatre junkie, paying attention in speech, or because I'm just the lucky one in a millionth person in America who has the ability to choose other words in the large vocabulary to fill space rather than ummm. The word umm, as you can see, has become apart of our every day vocabulary. I feel, in many ways, that America has created it’s own personal little dictionary. In this non websternized book of slang and inappropriate grammer, contains words such as like, golly wolly, yo, seriously?!, fo real, wowzers, yikes, dude, na man, shut up foo, ahh, yeah/yah/yea, oh, the ever favorite shizzle on my nizzle fa hizzle, your mom, whatcha, fer, warsh, won’tchew (won’t you), that’s what she said, anyways (correct: anyway), and the famous, yet fiercely invisible to some, the word umm. To most, this three letter word goes unnoticed. When talking with such a person you can drop umm almost anywhere in a sentence and they would be completely oblivious to the fact that the person with whom they’re speaking with is a-an idiot and b-using an “Americanized” “word” every time she inhales rather than working her brain and allowing it to do the job that both it and the mouth were created to function as. (notice I said she. sexest? maybe. opinion? possibily. think about the last five girls you've talked with, think about the last five guys you've talked with...observation? yes.) If said person were to ever speak with me in such a way, my toes would curl, my eyes would flinch, and my ears would focus in only on the now bolded word as my fingers unfolded one by one counting just how many times they use this inappropriate word as a word. I can't help it, I too have developed a horrible habit from this word. Honestly, hey, it happens. However, I do not use it in place of words or to fill space rather than to pause for a brief moment while you collect your thoughts and prepare to speak. I would like to thank the fantastic American's out there who use this "word" in place of thought or reason, for the cause of one of my now many annoying ocd habits.