jump off that ledge. go!

as i was leaving the show at edesias tonight, i couldn't help but notice a homeless man standing under a storefront-hands in pockets, chin and mouth tucked into his coat as far as he could muster, swaying back and forth as if it helped take the sharpening cold from his body. I know it's sappy, but i instantly wanted to cry. i couldn't help it. we have so much and whether they asked for it or not, they have so little. as i turned the other cheek walking to my car, i wondered how nice it would be to give him something. not money or food-but clothing...a scarf! how nice it would be to give that man a warm scarf. however, i didn't have one with me to give. the one i had was around my neck. my pretty multi colored scarf my grandma bought for me at some 'expensive' shop in the east. "ahh, i don't want to give him this. my grandma got it for me. it's so pretty" i thought...but he looked so cold. where will he sleep? back and forth i went arguing with myself to the point of tears while driving home. i couldn't understand why it was so difficult for me to give up something that meant so much to me but at the same time, nothing to me at all. at the moment, i am tucked in nice and cozy and warm still contimplating how i could-can be so selfish. i don't understand. it's funny that the world consumes us to the point that we think 'everything is necessary'. through this whole ordeal, the entire time in the back of my mind i was thinking "jesus would have stripped his clothes off for this man in an instant...why can't i give one of my many scaves for his warmth, his health, a great moment in his day?" i never did give him a scarf. i thought about going back and giving him another one...but i didn't.