Emily's Song

Spring was never her favorite. She didn't hate this time of year, but it was simply not on the top of her list. There was something about the dark colors of fal that Emily was so fond of. The way deep colors of maroon laid up against the milky browns and greens into yellow, then to a cinnamon orange. As silly as it was, Emily also enjoyed the clothes she wore in autumn. Tight warm sweaters, light jackets on warmer days, and always a scarf-scarves were her favorite.
The extra necessity which covered up the most unseemly portion of her mid section that often caused her much distress and worry. Scarves were an easy fix for Emily on rushed mornings. This February afternoon she was in fact wearing her most cherished scarf. It was a simple beige sheet of soft washed cotton adorned with small braids of fringe on either end. Very simple yet so perfect. It matched almost everything she owned;except white.
Even though the sky had opened and threw out eight inches of unwelcome snow two days prior, there was a strong smell of spring in the air. The scent of cold was masked by the heat of this typical mid-western weather.
Today it almost felt like spring. Almost wonderful, but not at all normal weather for the entire month of February.
The heat from the sun was intensely magnified through the glass and warmed Emily's left side while she sat starring out the window of her favorite coffee shop. The door opened behind her and a small hint of winter rushed in to send an awkward shiver down her spine.
She thought about things here. Mostly they were ordinary things, art, politics, relationships, books. Today she was in deep thought about how the selfish wants and needs of others has almost completely destroyed the purity of what humans could possibly be.
"Instant gratification...is there one solitary person who does not desire this...? Ha!" Laughter erupted like an echo in her mind.
Emily found it quite funny that not but two seconds later she glanced out of the window to see a puppy. Muddy underneath with a white tipped tail against a very faded beige body, it was without a doubt the most adorable puppy she had ever seen.
The coffee shop always put a bowl of water out on the corner for dogs to stop and take a quick water break. This puppy didn't seem to be interested in a water break today, more so something in the crevice underneath the newspaper bend. The owner tried everything; splashing the water, scooping it for the pup, moving it closer, dropping a treat in, and ever holding his babe over the water bowl back end flailing this way and that.
"It's never going to work", Emily thought she had formed the words to speak.
With a chuckle Emily went back to her thinking and dreaming of 'mans best friend' and what she thought a humans worst enemy was; selfishness.
However, she had attracted the attention of the two elderly women next to her who were now turned toward her starring, almost in horror at what they had just heard jumble out of Emily's mouth.
Taking notice she painstakingly cocked her body in their direction, sadly leaving the puppy, and smiled with pursed lips and very flushed cheeks. Shoulders rising and falling with the anxiousness of her breathing Emily let out a silent sigh of embarrassment.
Feeling foolish she put her headphones on in attempt to once again feel normal.
She scrolled through her ipod searching for something great, something that would capture this mortifying moment as well as a song where Emily could wallow in her own self pity..."How ironic". Emily was angered yet almost pleased with the humor in the situation.
"Oh yea. Perfect". Almost instantly she had found it, 'Autumn Leaves' by Eva Cassidy. Emily pushed play and desperately tried to remember the crescendo of the acoustic guitar before Eva's voice tells of her recollection of the beautiful fall leaves taking their long descent from their homes. Red and gold falling leaves.
The insides of her eyes were beginning to turn more red than her steeping tea.
She gazed out the window, head tilted and resting on her fist. The heat from her own breath was warmer than the now setting sun.
"Hmmmmmpf". She left out an empty chuckle as she watched the dog owner still attempting the impossible. Eva should now be on the second verse..."I can't remember how it went...something about hearing old winters song maybe...I don't know". Emily wasn't sure about a lot of things anymore. The deafening silence nearly drove her to insanity at times.
"Someday I will have a dog. A lab. A chocolate lab...I will name her Stella." She took one more long look at the pup before the owner finally gave up and walked down the strip toward the park. "People will laugh when I scream her name 'STELLA!'...but they won't really know".
Suddenly there was a bustle amongst the dedicated coffee shop dwellers. Emily searched the place stretching this way and that.
A barista had dropped a handful of dirty dishes while busing a table. As awful as it was, Emily was relieved that the red hats next to her were now chatting about the clumsy college boy and no longer about her accidental loud remark.
The boy looked extremely embarrassed. Bending over he began to pick up the broken pieces of glass and damp used tea bags.
Two high school girls in the corner pointed and laughed in what they thought was a hidden attempt of mochary. His face grew redder and redder.
No longer relived but full of guilt Emily couldn't stand being a witness anymore.
Immediately Emily rose to her feet and rushed to the boy. Kneeling beside him she began to help wipe up the spilled coffee with a handful of napkins she picked up at the counter on her way over.
At first he didn't notice, overwhelmed in his own anxiety he was too busy rushing to hide his disaster.
Finishing they both rose with handfuls of crumbs and shards of bean stained glass. Their eyes met and what were balmy with mortification not but one moment prior were now melting into a beautiful shade of gratefulness. A grimace of a smile even began to spread across his face...and Emily's.
"Thanks, Thank you. It slipped and..." The boys words were soon as sloppy and smeary as the coffee grounds now embedded in the soles of their shoes. She shook her head as she pushed the trash out of her hands and into the trash can.
Finding every ounce of strength left in her, Emily rose her head to look the boy in the eyes. She simply smiled gave a simple nod and turned to walk away.
"What were those words...?" Gathering her things she stopped to stare out the window once more. Fingering the strands of her scarf she contemplated again the severity of selfishness as opposed to being innocent to it all. She wished she could remember the words to the song. Emily once knew every word to Eva's sweet melody; she sang it with her father all the time. If only she could hear it just once...just once more she would swear to remember it forever.
Emily opened the cold glass door, the sun was almost down. The brutal winter wind almost knocked her to her feet. It was very close to dark and the streets seemed to be almost empty. Emily imagined that the wind's whistle somewhat resembled the crescendoing guitar before the song about beautiful fall leaves began.
She began to sing. "Te, ta, dum dum, te, ta dum da..."