I realize that in High Fidelity he only has top five's...but I am not John Cusack playing Rob nor am I in a movie...fight with me if you will, I don't care. I have a top ten; there are simply too many songs I listen to in a week to choose JUST five, ten is difficult enough.
Top Ten from Tuesday to Tuesday:
*wake up/get dressed to song of the week: Lily Allen's "knock em out"*
10) Amsterdam - Guster
9) Seaworthy Sleeper - Johanna Kunin
8) Wikked Lil Grrrls - Esthero
7) Daft Punk - Technology
6) Let it Be - Carol Wood
5) School Night - Ani Difranco
4) La Vie Un Rose - Edif Piaf
3) Suffer In Silence - The Frames
2) Love Affair - Copeland
1) Alli Rogers (Tie between the both): Eden / For the Morning
So the songs are a little scattered and don't really tie together...it's just been one of those weeks I suppose. I'm also sorry that there aren't really any new artists on here. I'm working on it. Next week's will be better. Maybe I'll try to work on a theme of the week or something. The problem with that is, if I had a week where I would focus on Musicals or Techno or even, god forbid, eighties love ballads...I don't think I would be able to handle it. So, theme's are out. There, that was easy. Next week: focused and new.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
busty mcbusted
highlight of my life, corset fittings. i don't know what it is about them but they are wonderful.
today, when trying my rehearsal corset on, i was having the most difficult time. i had that sucker on every way that's possible; upside down, rightside up(maybe), inside out, you name it and it happened. after some serious struggles and grunting i finally had it on the right way when i looked in the mirror and realized...dang it, i still had my shirts on underneath it. if you don't call this a stupid moment i don't know what is.
so i walk out with it on, the correct way mind you and without my street shirts, feeling pretty proud of myself when she says to me 'oh, you need to take your bra off'. in a brief moment of frustration mixed with my previous boost in self confidence, i just ripped the thing off right then and there...but then it got stuck and i asked her to help me, and it was just awkward and weird and there were people in the room...my 'no shame' mentality went right out the window when the bra thing didn't work out like i had pictured in my mind.
oh well, if you know my personality this is nothing new at all i actually find it pretty funny...but still pretty awkward.
moral: keep your clothes on kids.
today, when trying my rehearsal corset on, i was having the most difficult time. i had that sucker on every way that's possible; upside down, rightside up(maybe), inside out, you name it and it happened. after some serious struggles and grunting i finally had it on the right way when i looked in the mirror and realized...dang it, i still had my shirts on underneath it. if you don't call this a stupid moment i don't know what is.
so i walk out with it on, the correct way mind you and without my street shirts, feeling pretty proud of myself when she says to me 'oh, you need to take your bra off'. in a brief moment of frustration mixed with my previous boost in self confidence, i just ripped the thing off right then and there...but then it got stuck and i asked her to help me, and it was just awkward and weird and there were people in the room...my 'no shame' mentality went right out the window when the bra thing didn't work out like i had pictured in my mind.
oh well, if you know my personality this is nothing new at all i actually find it pretty funny...but still pretty awkward.
moral: keep your clothes on kids.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
babang.
When my eyes are closed I feel it's the best. There's something that happens to my mind when my eyes are closed...it has a life of it's own and it is absolutely beautiful. There are mornings when I fight with my eyes for hours because I don't want them to open. Hanging onto or picturing the last frame of a perfect or absolutely hilarious dream that I don't ever want to loose. I feel that now more than ever it's imperative that I no longer fight my eyes for them to stay closed when they want to. As much as dreaming is beautiful, reality can be just as wonderful. A lot of things have happened and I don't really know if it's to encourage my eyes closed or if it's to keep them open. I sound so emo. HA. I just figure if I stick with reality I won't be hit by any more forms of transportation. Maybe I don't know. Sleep is so wonderful too, maybe I should go back to sleep and when I wake up I won't sound so silly.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
consider this...
before you become friends with me, you need to be aware that i have done the following things by myself and that my actions only become more and more drastic the longer i live.
1) pretended i was an olympic diver-did a handstand in my room while wearing my swimsuit in the middle of winter-fell into my closet, knocked everything out, and while upside down on my back 1/2 in 1/2 out of my closet for 15 minutes i contemplated that i indeed was an idiot and wondered what people would think if i had killed myself while doing this...
2) pretended i was a professional softball pitcher waiting for my mac and cheese to cook and threw my arm out for two days while throwing a pretend ball about 150 times in my kitchen.
3) everyday i randomly do pirouettes in my kitchen with slippery socks and continually knock the trash can over or i go with it.
4) i talk to myself in different voices while acting out my own life.
5) i work out while i brush my teeth.
6) i can't whistle.
7) i know few lyrics, but know the tunes to many many songs.
8) i'm the white girl in the corner bobbing my head or trying to act like i can dance but don't want to...well i can't.
9) i out of no where sometimes become really self conscious for no reason and have really awkward moments and say really really really bizarre things that don't make any sense or have any tie into the current conversation.
my arm hurts and my brain will never function as it should, but i am a happy girl constantly pretending to be a five year old playing dress up and fun imagination games. i have discovered many hidden talents that will never be useful on a resume and have no idea how they apply to my life. above are examples of nine that i will share. no more no less. i don't really care. i want to buy a pink shirt that says 'skitz' on the front.
1) pretended i was an olympic diver-did a handstand in my room while wearing my swimsuit in the middle of winter-fell into my closet, knocked everything out, and while upside down on my back 1/2 in 1/2 out of my closet for 15 minutes i contemplated that i indeed was an idiot and wondered what people would think if i had killed myself while doing this...
2) pretended i was a professional softball pitcher waiting for my mac and cheese to cook and threw my arm out for two days while throwing a pretend ball about 150 times in my kitchen.
3) everyday i randomly do pirouettes in my kitchen with slippery socks and continually knock the trash can over or i go with it.
4) i talk to myself in different voices while acting out my own life.
5) i work out while i brush my teeth.
6) i can't whistle.
7) i know few lyrics, but know the tunes to many many songs.
8) i'm the white girl in the corner bobbing my head or trying to act like i can dance but don't want to...well i can't.
9) i out of no where sometimes become really self conscious for no reason and have really awkward moments and say really really really bizarre things that don't make any sense or have any tie into the current conversation.
my arm hurts and my brain will never function as it should, but i am a happy girl constantly pretending to be a five year old playing dress up and fun imagination games. i have discovered many hidden talents that will never be useful on a resume and have no idea how they apply to my life. above are examples of nine that i will share. no more no less. i don't really care. i want to buy a pink shirt that says 'skitz' on the front.
They didn't tie my bag!
Have no fear, the semester from Hell has actually turned out quite perfect. So no worries. Over exaggerated freak out.
My go-to spot was full today and I was never aware as to how much I actually depended on that. More so, how comfortable I was with it. Folks, it was honest to God a horrific nightmare. Not but moments ago I found myself ordering my tea from a different coffee shop. I tell you what, I was absolutely shocked as to how freaked out I found myself when I was at the counter. "Hi, do you have jasmine tea?" "Yes." "Hot jasmine tea?" "Yes." "Do you have honey somewhere?" "Yes, at the end of the counter." "Ok...thanks." "Oh, and you could tie my tea bag off for me?" "Sure can, no worries." "Oh, ok, thanks..." I hated the uneasiness I felt. Like I had never been to a coffee shop before. More so, that I had never had tea before. Yours truly with a sign plastered on her forehead printed "FIRST TIMER HERB DRINKER". What a joke. The music is better here though...the Beatles and The Frames have played a few times. I walked in to Spoon over the speakers and I felt like I was in a movie. But with the good comes the bad. There are people here who I'm not used to. I feel like they're here because a coffee shop is the cool place to hang out. "There's a real cool club on the other side of town...yeah it's a real cool club, and you're not part of it"...I don't want to be apart of it to tell you the truth. I miss the comfort of coffee being apart of your lifestyle, not a fun trip downtown to search for a lover. I don't like these kids in their sweat pants and soffee shorts with ug boots...who does that? Platnium blonde hair and skinny jeans just to be fashionable which matches the leather skin just sets my blood pressure at a level that I am extremely not comfortable with. My saucer is filled to the brim from the tea that's leaking from my untied tea bag. Each time I pick up my cup, it's a downpour onto my script every time I take a sip. I have however made a few vital discoveries about myself through this horrifying experience: 1)It's obvious that I have chosen the right place since it's jammed packed full of bean drinking seekers. 2)I am so glad I'm not a blind/deaf dog. Can you imagine if you were a blind and deaf dog whose owner loved to re-arrange furniture? Clearly detrimental to their health.
My go-to spot was full today and I was never aware as to how much I actually depended on that. More so, how comfortable I was with it. Folks, it was honest to God a horrific nightmare. Not but moments ago I found myself ordering my tea from a different coffee shop. I tell you what, I was absolutely shocked as to how freaked out I found myself when I was at the counter. "Hi, do you have jasmine tea?" "Yes." "Hot jasmine tea?" "Yes." "Do you have honey somewhere?" "Yes, at the end of the counter." "Ok...thanks." "Oh, and you could tie my tea bag off for me?" "Sure can, no worries." "Oh, ok, thanks..." I hated the uneasiness I felt. Like I had never been to a coffee shop before. More so, that I had never had tea before. Yours truly with a sign plastered on her forehead printed "FIRST TIMER HERB DRINKER". What a joke. The music is better here though...the Beatles and The Frames have played a few times. I walked in to Spoon over the speakers and I felt like I was in a movie. But with the good comes the bad. There are people here who I'm not used to. I feel like they're here because a coffee shop is the cool place to hang out. "There's a real cool club on the other side of town...yeah it's a real cool club, and you're not part of it"...I don't want to be apart of it to tell you the truth. I miss the comfort of coffee being apart of your lifestyle, not a fun trip downtown to search for a lover. I don't like these kids in their sweat pants and soffee shorts with ug boots...who does that? Platnium blonde hair and skinny jeans just to be fashionable which matches the leather skin just sets my blood pressure at a level that I am extremely not comfortable with. My saucer is filled to the brim from the tea that's leaking from my untied tea bag. Each time I pick up my cup, it's a downpour onto my script every time I take a sip. I have however made a few vital discoveries about myself through this horrifying experience: 1)It's obvious that I have chosen the right place since it's jammed packed full of bean drinking seekers. 2)I am so glad I'm not a blind/deaf dog. Can you imagine if you were a blind and deaf dog whose owner loved to re-arrange furniture? Clearly detrimental to their health.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
I don't even know that to say
I am absolutely convinced that this is the semester from Hell.
I feel sick.
I feel sick.
Emily's Song
Spring was never her favorite. She didn't hate this time of year, but it was simply not on the top of her list. There was something about the dark colors of fal that Emily was so fond of. The way deep colors of maroon laid up against the milky browns and greens into yellow, then to a cinnamon orange. As silly as it was, Emily also enjoyed the clothes she wore in autumn. Tight warm sweaters, light jackets on warmer days, and always a scarf-scarves were her favorite.
The extra necessity which covered up the most unseemly portion of her mid section that often caused her much distress and worry. Scarves were an easy fix for Emily on rushed mornings. This February afternoon she was in fact wearing her most cherished scarf. It was a simple beige sheet of soft washed cotton adorned with small braids of fringe on either end. Very simple yet so perfect. It matched almost everything she owned;except white.
Even though the sky had opened and threw out eight inches of unwelcome snow two days prior, there was a strong smell of spring in the air. The scent of cold was masked by the heat of this typical mid-western weather.
Today it almost felt like spring. Almost wonderful, but not at all normal weather for the entire month of February.
The heat from the sun was intensely magnified through the glass and warmed Emily's left side while she sat starring out the window of her favorite coffee shop. The door opened behind her and a small hint of winter rushed in to send an awkward shiver down her spine.
She thought about things here. Mostly they were ordinary things, art, politics, relationships, books. Today she was in deep thought about how the selfish wants and needs of others has almost completely destroyed the purity of what humans could possibly be.
"Instant gratification...is there one solitary person who does not desire this...? Ha!" Laughter erupted like an echo in her mind.
Emily found it quite funny that not but two seconds later she glanced out of the window to see a puppy. Muddy underneath with a white tipped tail against a very faded beige body, it was without a doubt the most adorable puppy she had ever seen.
The coffee shop always put a bowl of water out on the corner for dogs to stop and take a quick water break. This puppy didn't seem to be interested in a water break today, more so something in the crevice underneath the newspaper bend. The owner tried everything; splashing the water, scooping it for the pup, moving it closer, dropping a treat in, and ever holding his babe over the water bowl back end flailing this way and that.
"It's never going to work", Emily thought she had formed the words to speak.
With a chuckle Emily went back to her thinking and dreaming of 'mans best friend' and what she thought a humans worst enemy was; selfishness.
However, she had attracted the attention of the two elderly women next to her who were now turned toward her starring, almost in horror at what they had just heard jumble out of Emily's mouth.
Taking notice she painstakingly cocked her body in their direction, sadly leaving the puppy, and smiled with pursed lips and very flushed cheeks. Shoulders rising and falling with the anxiousness of her breathing Emily let out a silent sigh of embarrassment.
Feeling foolish she put her headphones on in attempt to once again feel normal.
She scrolled through her ipod searching for something great, something that would capture this mortifying moment as well as a song where Emily could wallow in her own self pity..."How ironic". Emily was angered yet almost pleased with the humor in the situation.
"Oh yea. Perfect". Almost instantly she had found it, 'Autumn Leaves' by Eva Cassidy. Emily pushed play and desperately tried to remember the crescendo of the acoustic guitar before Eva's voice tells of her recollection of the beautiful fall leaves taking their long descent from their homes. Red and gold falling leaves.
The insides of her eyes were beginning to turn more red than her steeping tea.
She gazed out the window, head tilted and resting on her fist. The heat from her own breath was warmer than the now setting sun.
"Hmmmmmpf". She left out an empty chuckle as she watched the dog owner still attempting the impossible. Eva should now be on the second verse..."I can't remember how it went...something about hearing old winters song maybe...I don't know". Emily wasn't sure about a lot of things anymore. The deafening silence nearly drove her to insanity at times.
"Someday I will have a dog. A lab. A chocolate lab...I will name her Stella." She took one more long look at the pup before the owner finally gave up and walked down the strip toward the park. "People will laugh when I scream her name 'STELLA!'...but they won't really know".
Suddenly there was a bustle amongst the dedicated coffee shop dwellers. Emily searched the place stretching this way and that.
A barista had dropped a handful of dirty dishes while busing a table. As awful as it was, Emily was relieved that the red hats next to her were now chatting about the clumsy college boy and no longer about her accidental loud remark.
The boy looked extremely embarrassed. Bending over he began to pick up the broken pieces of glass and damp used tea bags.
Two high school girls in the corner pointed and laughed in what they thought was a hidden attempt of mochary. His face grew redder and redder.
No longer relived but full of guilt Emily couldn't stand being a witness anymore.
Immediately Emily rose to her feet and rushed to the boy. Kneeling beside him she began to help wipe up the spilled coffee with a handful of napkins she picked up at the counter on her way over.
At first he didn't notice, overwhelmed in his own anxiety he was too busy rushing to hide his disaster.
Finishing they both rose with handfuls of crumbs and shards of bean stained glass. Their eyes met and what were balmy with mortification not but one moment prior were now melting into a beautiful shade of gratefulness. A grimace of a smile even began to spread across his face...and Emily's.
"Thanks, Thank you. It slipped and..." The boys words were soon as sloppy and smeary as the coffee grounds now embedded in the soles of their shoes. She shook her head as she pushed the trash out of her hands and into the trash can.
Finding every ounce of strength left in her, Emily rose her head to look the boy in the eyes. She simply smiled gave a simple nod and turned to walk away.
"What were those words...?" Gathering her things she stopped to stare out the window once more. Fingering the strands of her scarf she contemplated again the severity of selfishness as opposed to being innocent to it all. She wished she could remember the words to the song. Emily once knew every word to Eva's sweet melody; she sang it with her father all the time. If only she could hear it just once...just once more she would swear to remember it forever.
Emily opened the cold glass door, the sun was almost down. The brutal winter wind almost knocked her to her feet. It was very close to dark and the streets seemed to be almost empty. Emily imagined that the wind's whistle somewhat resembled the crescendoing guitar before the song about beautiful fall leaves began.
She began to sing. "Te, ta, dum dum, te, ta dum da..."
The extra necessity which covered up the most unseemly portion of her mid section that often caused her much distress and worry. Scarves were an easy fix for Emily on rushed mornings. This February afternoon she was in fact wearing her most cherished scarf. It was a simple beige sheet of soft washed cotton adorned with small braids of fringe on either end. Very simple yet so perfect. It matched almost everything she owned;except white.
Even though the sky had opened and threw out eight inches of unwelcome snow two days prior, there was a strong smell of spring in the air. The scent of cold was masked by the heat of this typical mid-western weather.
Today it almost felt like spring. Almost wonderful, but not at all normal weather for the entire month of February.
The heat from the sun was intensely magnified through the glass and warmed Emily's left side while she sat starring out the window of her favorite coffee shop. The door opened behind her and a small hint of winter rushed in to send an awkward shiver down her spine.
She thought about things here. Mostly they were ordinary things, art, politics, relationships, books. Today she was in deep thought about how the selfish wants and needs of others has almost completely destroyed the purity of what humans could possibly be.
"Instant gratification...is there one solitary person who does not desire this...? Ha!" Laughter erupted like an echo in her mind.
Emily found it quite funny that not but two seconds later she glanced out of the window to see a puppy. Muddy underneath with a white tipped tail against a very faded beige body, it was without a doubt the most adorable puppy she had ever seen.
The coffee shop always put a bowl of water out on the corner for dogs to stop and take a quick water break. This puppy didn't seem to be interested in a water break today, more so something in the crevice underneath the newspaper bend. The owner tried everything; splashing the water, scooping it for the pup, moving it closer, dropping a treat in, and ever holding his babe over the water bowl back end flailing this way and that.
"It's never going to work", Emily thought she had formed the words to speak.
With a chuckle Emily went back to her thinking and dreaming of 'mans best friend' and what she thought a humans worst enemy was; selfishness.
However, she had attracted the attention of the two elderly women next to her who were now turned toward her starring, almost in horror at what they had just heard jumble out of Emily's mouth.
Taking notice she painstakingly cocked her body in their direction, sadly leaving the puppy, and smiled with pursed lips and very flushed cheeks. Shoulders rising and falling with the anxiousness of her breathing Emily let out a silent sigh of embarrassment.
Feeling foolish she put her headphones on in attempt to once again feel normal.
She scrolled through her ipod searching for something great, something that would capture this mortifying moment as well as a song where Emily could wallow in her own self pity..."How ironic". Emily was angered yet almost pleased with the humor in the situation.
"Oh yea. Perfect". Almost instantly she had found it, 'Autumn Leaves' by Eva Cassidy. Emily pushed play and desperately tried to remember the crescendo of the acoustic guitar before Eva's voice tells of her recollection of the beautiful fall leaves taking their long descent from their homes. Red and gold falling leaves.
The insides of her eyes were beginning to turn more red than her steeping tea.
She gazed out the window, head tilted and resting on her fist. The heat from her own breath was warmer than the now setting sun.
"Hmmmmmpf". She left out an empty chuckle as she watched the dog owner still attempting the impossible. Eva should now be on the second verse..."I can't remember how it went...something about hearing old winters song maybe...I don't know". Emily wasn't sure about a lot of things anymore. The deafening silence nearly drove her to insanity at times.
"Someday I will have a dog. A lab. A chocolate lab...I will name her Stella." She took one more long look at the pup before the owner finally gave up and walked down the strip toward the park. "People will laugh when I scream her name 'STELLA!'...but they won't really know".
Suddenly there was a bustle amongst the dedicated coffee shop dwellers. Emily searched the place stretching this way and that.
A barista had dropped a handful of dirty dishes while busing a table. As awful as it was, Emily was relieved that the red hats next to her were now chatting about the clumsy college boy and no longer about her accidental loud remark.
The boy looked extremely embarrassed. Bending over he began to pick up the broken pieces of glass and damp used tea bags.
Two high school girls in the corner pointed and laughed in what they thought was a hidden attempt of mochary. His face grew redder and redder.
No longer relived but full of guilt Emily couldn't stand being a witness anymore.
Immediately Emily rose to her feet and rushed to the boy. Kneeling beside him she began to help wipe up the spilled coffee with a handful of napkins she picked up at the counter on her way over.
At first he didn't notice, overwhelmed in his own anxiety he was too busy rushing to hide his disaster.
Finishing they both rose with handfuls of crumbs and shards of bean stained glass. Their eyes met and what were balmy with mortification not but one moment prior were now melting into a beautiful shade of gratefulness. A grimace of a smile even began to spread across his face...and Emily's.
"Thanks, Thank you. It slipped and..." The boys words were soon as sloppy and smeary as the coffee grounds now embedded in the soles of their shoes. She shook her head as she pushed the trash out of her hands and into the trash can.
Finding every ounce of strength left in her, Emily rose her head to look the boy in the eyes. She simply smiled gave a simple nod and turned to walk away.
"What were those words...?" Gathering her things she stopped to stare out the window once more. Fingering the strands of her scarf she contemplated again the severity of selfishness as opposed to being innocent to it all. She wished she could remember the words to the song. Emily once knew every word to Eva's sweet melody; she sang it with her father all the time. If only she could hear it just once...just once more she would swear to remember it forever.
Emily opened the cold glass door, the sun was almost down. The brutal winter wind almost knocked her to her feet. It was very close to dark and the streets seemed to be almost empty. Emily imagined that the wind's whistle somewhat resembled the crescendoing guitar before the song about beautiful fall leaves began.
She began to sing. "Te, ta, dum dum, te, ta dum da..."
Monday, February 11, 2008
On the Run
place: 20 feet from entering onramp for I70-my car-next to a cemetary
time: 11:40pm tuesday nov. 6, 2007
characters: real life-jess / me
"so they run to the back of the cliff and run as fast and hard as they can-when they reach the end they jump off and scream RADIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-"
after laughing at the joke, jess turns her head forward just in time to see something in the road, "what is that?"
"huh?"
*rump rump bang!*
"*&$^!-what was that?"
"ummm, i don't know. no big deal, i don't see blood".
"ohh i think it was a cone."
"ok. no big deal".
*brump. brump. brump*
*silent stares foward and then at each other*
"what is THAT?"
being the genius that she is, "the motor"
"ummm, no erica, i think it's stuck"
"what?"
"the cone!"
"ooh...let's pull over"
pulling over next to the cemetary, laughing, each exits the car bending over in the dark lonely highway seaching for the bright orange cone. finally, under the engine.
"here, watch for po's"
"roger that"
thankful that she decided not to get her nails done, and very glad she listened to her weather.com telling her that the exact temperature at 11pm tuesday night would be 40*, the passenger squats down low enough to grab hold and work her magic to unleash the very stuck cone. after much heaving, yanking, and a few gravel bruises, out pops the cone-orange, glowing and all. much like a real birth...well, not really. feeling it to be the only obvious choice, the cone was placed in the back of the car and continued toward manhattan-home.
47 minutes later. silence.
"erica-"
"yeah jess"
"we have a cone in the back of your car"
"life's great huh?!"
time: 11:40pm tuesday nov. 6, 2007
characters: real life-jess / me
"so they run to the back of the cliff and run as fast and hard as they can-when they reach the end they jump off and scream RADIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-"
after laughing at the joke, jess turns her head forward just in time to see something in the road, "what is that?"
"huh?"
*rump rump bang!*
"*&$^!-what was that?"
"ummm, i don't know. no big deal, i don't see blood".
"ohh i think it was a cone."
"ok. no big deal".
*brump. brump. brump*
*silent stares foward and then at each other*
"what is THAT?"
being the genius that she is, "the motor"
"ummm, no erica, i think it's stuck"
"what?"
"the cone!"
"ooh...let's pull over"
pulling over next to the cemetary, laughing, each exits the car bending over in the dark lonely highway seaching for the bright orange cone. finally, under the engine.
"here, watch for po's"
"roger that"
thankful that she decided not to get her nails done, and very glad she listened to her weather.com telling her that the exact temperature at 11pm tuesday night would be 40*, the passenger squats down low enough to grab hold and work her magic to unleash the very stuck cone. after much heaving, yanking, and a few gravel bruises, out pops the cone-orange, glowing and all. much like a real birth...well, not really. feeling it to be the only obvious choice, the cone was placed in the back of the car and continued toward manhattan-home.
47 minutes later. silence.
"erica-"
"yeah jess"
"we have a cone in the back of your car"
"life's great huh?!"
Friday, February 1, 2008
Cause you could kick me hard if I was down, down, down, down...
For Christmas I received a violin. To fully understand the sentiment of this gift you have to know that for years while other children dreamt of 'susie talk's a lot', xbox's, or even ponies...all I have asked for and wanted was 'a violin'. So now...I have a beautiful 3 1/2 handcrafted musical instrument sitting in my study. That's right...sitting. Just chillin in the corner. I look at it occasionally to say hello and apologize to it. I mean, just because it's wood doesn't mean it does not have importance in this world...it speaks, just not in english. Now I sound crazy. Anyway, I have not touched the violin since the completion of winter break. You see, I have every intention to play a nice g, d, a, or e...but my life has recently been over-flooded with thousands upon thousands of little odd's and ends that, sadly, take precedence to my newly loved hobby...dishes. When you eat a sandwich and you're finished, you put the dirty plate in the sink. Glass of oj, dirty cup, sink. Fork, sink. Pan, sink. Strainer, lettuce cleaner, sink. If you don't do your dishes, they start to pile up. If you're obsessed with cleaning, but just haven't had the time, then it starts to kill you in more ways than one after a while...that made no sense, but just go with me here. I haven't done anything recently that I want to, that I love. I thought I had...but now it seems that they have turned sour and will soon become bittersweet. Already I don't know how I'm going to do it all...but have devoted my semester to so many things. I am slowly realizing that there will be very few moments to wash my dishes. I don't like things dirty. There will be very few moments of erica time for the next couple of months. There will be very few moments of school time, work time, friend time...dare I even say music time. So far it has already snowballed. You know those days when you think that the whole world is just out to get you? I had one of those today...Actually I have had a whole week like this. Every day something extreme and significant has happened and it only becomes worse and worse. I really feel I was supposed to die this week in some form or another. In short my week started out like this: I was hit by a car. Not me in my car...me, myself as a person was hit by a car when I was walking. What's worse, the driver didn't know I was on her car after she rammed me...On top of all that, after I dragged myself off the car...she drove away. She drove away. She just drove away. This my friends, is what we call an idiot. In short, I don't know if my life is a movie in the making or just a crap shoot week in need of organization and a serious hot tea before bed. I just hope that by the end of the semester this awkward uneasy feeling you get when you're in a new place and you feel you don't belong...just a new funny situation, goes away. song of the day: Shadow on the Wall by Brandi Carlile
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
swing batter batter
BATS BATS EVERYWHERE!
last night i had a fun little dream where there were two bats flying around my room. it was very vivid. apparently so vivid that at 3:30 am i felt the need to flail my arms around such that i knocked everything off of my night table one by one. i woke up this morning and thought that someone slipped speed in my toothpaste. good news, i went back to sleep only to find that i had cornered and stabbed one of the bats in the eye with my eyeliner-turns out it was a flying frog. go figure.
last night i had a fun little dream where there were two bats flying around my room. it was very vivid. apparently so vivid that at 3:30 am i felt the need to flail my arms around such that i knocked everything off of my night table one by one. i woke up this morning and thought that someone slipped speed in my toothpaste. good news, i went back to sleep only to find that i had cornered and stabbed one of the bats in the eye with my eyeliner-turns out it was a flying frog. go figure.
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